Insomnia

It’s perfectly natural to be nervous. Everyone gets nervous. If you weren’t, I’d be worried.

Being nervous before surgery is a hard concept to grasp after spending years putting up a strong front, becoming a different person. Confident. Unafraid. For 9 years I never really had a summer vacation or spring break, surgeries or doctors’ appointments always filled the time. I can remember having to hold on to a pool noodle while swimming because I still hadn’t learned how to swim at 7 years old, it would be three more years until I had a small break and could learn how to swim. There was never any anxiety, no fear. The anaesthesiologist was my friend, he would carry me into surgery and if I left my Bugs Bunny doll in the car he would take the time to make sure I had Bugs right next to me before going to sleep. For those nine years I didn’t know how fragile life truly was, I didn’t understand how serious my surgeries were or the extent of my injuries. Because of that, I was able to take it all in stride, with confidence and strength.

She’s a trooper. She’s one tough kid.

Now I’m faced with all this new information and I’m scared, but I know it’s only natural and I’m going to be okay. I’m a trooper. A survivor.