From Kata's to Karma.

I was first introduced to Buddhism by way of Martial Arts when I was 4 years old. After every class we would sit with our legs underneath us and meditate for a few minutes. My classmates and I didn't fully understand the importance or significance of meditation but we copied what the older kids were doing. Though the meditation didn't last longer than a few minutes, it always felt like a much longer period of time. To a young child with ADHD, it was quite a struggle but somehow, at that age, I understood that I needed to sit quietly and banish all other thoughts from my mind. Often times I'd feel myself fighting the urge to peak my eyes open to see what everyone else was doing, but I'd remind myself that our Sensi, Mr. Hammond, wanted us to sit quietly and as still as possible and to focus on our breathing.


A year after starting Tae Kwon Do I was in a terrible car accident, I never realised how much TKD would help me in over-coming what happened. I used my TKD training to help me regain my balance and be patient with myself when things got frustrating. My Sensi came to visit me in the hospital and brought a white stuffed monkey with him, it had a yellow belt tied around it's waste. About a year later I entered my first competition through AAU (Amateur Athletics Union) and placed 3rd. It wasn't my pest performance but weeks before I had just undergone a major operation. My mom video taped the competition and there's a copy of it somewhere and there's a part where I'm showing off my medals. I was proud of myself but a little bit upset that I didn't place higher.


Despite moving I continued I dedicated my time to learning the different katas, also known as forms which are choreographed fights. I'd practice them until I could do them in my sleep and as I progressed I'd shut my eyes before each one, get into "the zone" and open my eyes once more to begin. The distractions that were in the room moments before were now gone. Each movement done done with power, strength, concentration. Each move done with purpose from something as simple as a forward stance or as powerful as a sharp kick to an opponents head. In perfecting this I was able to incorporate meditation during my forms by focusing on my breathing and what my body was doing at that moment.


Some may argue that this isn't true meditation. This was my "walking meditation". I am careful to not meditate during a form until I know it backwards and forwards and unless I am 100 percent sure of what I am doing and 100 percent confident in myself. It is not until these areas are met that I even begin to think about meditating during my forms.


While practising and training for my black belt in Bushido I began to develop a sharp pain in my hip and in that general muscle region. For a while it was not clear what was going on until the Fall of 2008 when I was diagnosed with Illiopsoas Tendentious, also known as Snapping Hip Syndrome. This injury was quite a blow and I decided to stop training for fear that I would do more damage. I went from being very active to barely able to tackle steps and having to take an elevator whenever possible.


Since the fall of 2007 I haven't been able to practice Martial Arts. For the past two years I've felt like a huge part of my identity and who I am was taken form me. The cost to treat this injury has gone up and the health insurance I have now through the school refuses to cover any of it. In New Mexico I was able to have physical therapy for a few months which did help the snapping and pain a little but it eventually plateaued and continued to hurt. I fear my hip may be getting worse and I've found myself becoming increasingly depressed over this injury. 


Buddhism has helped me learn patience and has helped me acknowledge and name these emotions so that I am not weighed down so heavily by them and so that they do not control me. 


While practising I was always able to work through my emotions and let them run their course. Each was named, acknowledged and dealt with. Sometimes their weight seemed to be too much and I would find myself doubting my techniques and that what I was doing was not working. But it never failed. No emotion was too great. They were all treated equally during forms, practice, and meditation where I was able to fully explore each one. Whenever I was anxious about an event from the past or from that day I could put on my karate uniform and go outside to practice. If I was angry or upset, I'd go outside and start with the Monks Breathing Forms before beginning with my other forms to get myself centred so that I was able to take on each emotion. Once calm and at peace I'd go back inside, shower, change my clothes and sleep.


This year is just a Form that lasts 365 days and when it comes to an end I'll shower, change my clothes, sleep and wake up to face a brand new day and be able to move forward and face whatever the future has in store.


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