Apparently healing is talking about the worst bits awkwardly in halted sentences. Never using the real words, just others that seem to get the job done.
You did good work today. I'm very proud of you. What you're doing is courageous, you're breaking the rules that they set out when you share with me, or your big brothers. You're taking the power away from them. Thank you for sharing this with me.
I let my secret out, the one thats inside of me
Sometimes it feels like its swallowing me whole
After sitting for what seemed like an eternity in silence
Outside cars drove past and birds were singing
Life went on outside
Inside the room-time stood still
You're very mature to sit there with your feelings, with these emotions and not run from them
Went away inside my head
Tried to escape them
They kept after me
I could feel their breath on the back of my neck
So I sat with them and they sat around me, washing over me
Trying to breathe, gasping for air
The silence was deafening, loud and overwhelming
Outside I heard laughter
Pure bliss, innocence
He said my name, asked me what was happening
Confusion. Anger. Fear. Embarassment. Desperation.
Despite those feelings, I let my secret out
The one that filled me up inside
2 comments:
Your words could be mine. Three years after beginning therapy, I still wrestle with my dark secrets. I'm not going to say that the thoughts will go away; but, I try to hold them in compassion-->Compassion for this body that bears the physical stress responses, and compassion for the little girl who still crawls into a ball and weeps silent tears.
Your words are very powerful; use them.
*sneaks back into the anonymous crowd*
Mallory, thank you for your kind words. It was tough to get my own, to tell my counsellor the other day but after I did I felt like a giant weight had lifted off my shoulders and I could breathe. It was an amazing feeling. Take care, :-)
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